The Announcement
Two days after my wife passed away in her sleep, I posted a tribute on Facebook
Sadie Wilson, August 8, 1980 - October 9, 2023
Two days after my wife, Sadie, died, I posted this message on Facebook. I have not edited it from its original state1 (though I would love to!).
My best friend of 27 years and wife of 20 years, Sadie Wilson, passed away in her sleep on Monday. She was 43 years old.
Sadie and I met at Pound Junior High in 1993, in Mr. Roehrs’ band. Early in the school year I asked why she was absent one day. A friend told me. I responded, “What is ‘yom kipper’?” She was new and different. But 8th grade Brent was terrified of girls, so we remained just band friends.
Sadie told the story differently. On the first day of band class there weren’t enough chairs in the band room. Sadie was left standing, looking around. I stood, told her to take my chair, and went out to the stage to get a new one. She was smitten.
We met up again when she got to Lincoln Southeast High School a year after me. On the first day of marching band, we were assigning parts. Somebody handed her music for 2nd Trumpet. I said, “No, she needs to be on 1st trumpet”, and swapped her music. She couldn’t believe I remembered her or that I would stand up for her. Double smitten.
Still, although I was close friends with many girls, I was much too scared to ask any of them out. Other boys were not. Finally, my chance to ask out Sadie came in November of my senior year. A friend helped boost my courage (thanks, Katie Scheele!) and I called her up. She said yes.
On December 7, 1996 we marched in the Star City Holiday Parade. Later, I picked up Sadie at her house and we went to our friend group’s favorite hangout: Village Inn. She had a milkshake with her meal. I had iced tea. The kid in the booth behind us insisted that he and his grandma “go ride in red car now”. I paid by check.
Soon we were inseparable. We spent hours on the phone or sitting in her driveway, talking late into the night. (Which drove her parents crazy. Sorry, Rick and Pat!) We talked about everything. Everything. We soon knew more about each other than any person we had known in our lives.
I first held Sadie’s hand during a movie in January 1997. I wrote “I love you” in a card on Valentine’s Day. We kissed a couple weeks later. By May I recruited friends Maureen and Amy to help me make a bold move, and in June I gave Sadie the promise ring that they helped me to buy.
There are so many more stories to tell. Cornhusker Marching Band, our engagement in 2002, our wedding in 2003, our house and Daisy the schnoodle in 2004. Sadie became a mother to Robbie in 2006, to Joey and Keishor in 2010, and to myriad foster children, students, and others throughout the years.
We lost three boys we were about to adopt in 2018. We were crushed. We did not handle the trauma well. We limped along until we could limp no further. We separated. It sucked. I fought for her, and then we fought for us. It worked.
Since then we were closer than we had ever been. This year, Sadie opened up with me about her health. She was in pain, and she was suffering, every single day. She had been lying about so many things. She lied to most of you – in some cases on the very weekend of her death. She didn’t want to burden us.
I sought a remedy that doctors and drugs and therapies hadn’t been able to provide. Sadie loved the beach, so in September I took her to Puerto Rico. When we arrived at a beach in San Juan on our first morning, she took off her shoes and socks, walked directly into the warm water and silently stood, eyes closed, facing the rising sun.
If Sadie knew you, she loved you. She had her family and her kiddos and runner people and book club people and foster parent people and work people and school people and Temple people and church people and coffee people and on and on. And we loved her back.
Keanu Reeves was once asked what happens to us after we die. He paused, took a deep breath, and said, “I know that the ones who love us will miss us”. I miss Sadie. I miss Sadie so, so much.
That’s 99% true. I did modify the names of my friends so that they show only as first names, rather than as full names as they do on Facebook.